The key is that we keep the focus on ourselves and our “side of the street,” so to speak. Step Nine is that biggie step, the one we likely have created some anxiety over because it involves making amends. With resolution, you aim to find a solution or explanation to the problems caused by alcoholism. In this step, you look for answers and solutions and finally lay these issues to rest. With restoration, you aim to bring something back to what it formerly was.
How Is Recovery.com Different?
If you are new to this recovery series and alcohol rehab are ready to jump in with the 12 steps, be sure to read Celebrate Recovery Step One! If you’re continuing this journey with us and would like to read the last article, please take a look at Celebrate Recovery Step 8. If you are new to Celebrate Recovery, recognize that of the two main recovery programs (AA and CR), we will concentrate on the Christ-centered recovery program called Celebrate Recovery.
What Constitutes Harm?
Some people’s greatest wish may be that you remain sober and continue recovering. Others may prefer never to speak again or even wish you ill on the way out of the door. The future of your relationships is never guaranteed, https://ecosoberhouse.com/ but you will feel better knowing you have done your best to remedy your prior errors. Benefits include increased self-awareness, stronger coping skills, spiritual growth, reduced isolation, and lasting recovery through mutual support and service.
- Engagement in mutual-help groups like AA can provide crucial assistance, helping individuals stay grounded.
- The ninth step is very action-oriented and provides a sense of relief.
- This ensures we take accountability and make positive changes without causing additional harm in our recovery while making amends to such people we cannot make direct amends to.
- Recovering from alcohol and substance abuse is not always linear.
- While making amends is apologizing, living amends means living a completely new, sober lifestyle, and being committed to that lifestyle for both yourself and those you’ve harmed in the past.
- The outcome of making amends doesn’t always end in relationships picking up where they left off, but the process is cathartic and necessary to move on.
Avoid Making Amends if You May Harm an Unwitting Third Party
- Be prepared to move on with your life regardless of the outcome.
- Amanda completed her Doctor of Nursing Practice and Post Masters Certification in Psychiatry at Florida Atlantic University.
- Working the steps has likely made you a less selfish and self-centered individual.
- By facing the consequences of our previous actions, we become more aware of the terrible cost of our behavior.
- Once you’ve completed steps 1 through 8 in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), it’s time to move on to step 9.
- Hearing the experiences of others will give you strength and confidence.
These steps work in harmony with the Twelve Traditions, which are guidelines that ensure group unity and focused functioning. Making amends is one of the key principles in the AA plan. It helps AA meeting makers and all members take accountability for their actions and begin to fix those broken promises and damaged relationships. If it is particularly daunting for you, conducting and updating your fear inventory can be helpful before beginning this process.
Making Amends Is an Important Step to Rebuilding Family Connections
Another important part of the twelve steps is the willingness to let go of character defects that hinder spiritual growth. Character defects often serve as coping mechanisms, ultimately preventing one from living authentically and practicing spiritual principles. However, there are situations where it might not be appropriate. If approaching the other person opens up old wounds or re-traumatizes them, making amends isn’t advisable. If interacting with someone re-traumatizes you, or increases your risk of relapse, you might want to reconsider approaching them. Researched, fact-checked and transparent articles and guides that offer addiction and mental health insight from experts and treatment professionals.
- The text focuses on the process by which step 9 helps us evolve from selfish to more altruistic individuals.
- By forgiving others we start to recognize our own humanness, and it gives us the capacity to be less judgmental than we were in the past.
- Dr. Bishop is also a certified open water scuba diver, he enjoys fishing, traveling, and hunting.
- We offer a strong aftercare program that includes a 12-step program in Washington.
Saying sorry isn’t enough—you have to take responsibility for your actions and feel genuine remorse over what you’ve done. Don’t invalidate the other’s feelings by saying something like “I’m sorry living amends you feel that way” or making excuses about your mental state at the time. Compile a list of all the people you’ve wronged or mistreated through the course of your substance abuse. Addiction is often labeled a “family disease” because it affects not only the person struggling with addiction but also everyone in their close circle.
- Her over 15 years’ experience working in healthcare administration and management quickly launched her into a leadership role.
- If you currently have a sponsor and membership in an AA group, consider working together to write your amends letters.
- As an AA member, the social support you receive through sponsorships and meetings can play a vital role in helping you stay clean.
- While making amends can be healing, the outcome is not always predictable.
Thus, it only makes sense that step nine is a response to step eight, which involves making a list of all the people that you have harmed and become willing to make amends to all of them. Step eight is preparation for the action of step nine, which involves putting your recovery into action. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development we will be amazed before we are halfway through.